thelustexperiencefandomcom-20200216-history
2017-09-03
Summary Kyle gets a call from Horace and picks up a package. While he does this, he has a strange encounter with an out-of-game friend, Molly. Mason calls both Megan and Mike F. Painting Activity Kyle & Horace's Last Two Fucks Mason's Call to Megan Megan [http://thelustexperience.com/forums/topic/93-call-from-mason-more-personal/ posted about this call to the forums]: So this is now the fourth night in a row he has called me? I really hate to admit it but this call unnerved me. This was a more in depth conversation than normal but still 100% about me, I am not sure I was able to really get ANYTHING from him at all. I really do try. He just doesn’t answer my questions. He said he wanted to get to know me better. He told me first that I was “very prolific,” and then asked me why I liked overhead projectors so much. So…I figure that he’s looking at my website, but he wouldn’t confirm or deny anything. I answer the question about why I like the OH projectors…I mean it’s an overly artsy explanation and then he asks me about my thesis, which was over 10 years ago, and I talk about how I used the projectors in my thesis… So, the conversation basically continues on this pattern – he asks a question, and I go to answer it, and partway through answering it he says something that demonstrates he already knows stuff about things. For example, one of the next subjects he turned to was Edinburgh – he asked me how my trip was, and I said it was amazing, and the festival was amazing. And then I added “well, maybe not so much our show” – and he interrupted to say “Transmission,” the name of our show. I mean, none of this information is hidden away, it’s just that he had it all there. He wanted to know why the show didn’t go well. Then, he starts asking about the other shows I saw in Edinburgh and it’s here that I realize he’s reading my blog. I ask him and he says “I don’t need to,” or something like that. He asks about my friend Mariah’s show at the Edinburgh Fringe – why did it make me cry, why was that unusual, do I brag about controlling my emotions (I explained here that I’m actually bad at controlling my emotions, and that wasn’t what was going on, I just didn’t feel very deeply about most things). I would start to answer why her show made me cry, and he would say “oh yes, it’s about her giving up her son to gay parents for adoption.” Which, again, is info that’s RIGHT THERE, but…why ask me questions then?? We talked about…my green jacket, why do I like it. Do I consider myself a survivor. Why do I blame myself for everything. Why does my husband think my beliefs about love are unusual. Do I ever feel joy. At some point he murmured “muted emotional reaction” or something like that, and I said “where are you getting that?” he didn’t answer, but went on to read other things, things like “crippling self-doubt,” I don’t remember the others but they were things like “anxiety,” something else about how I hate myself or something…it was a list of things that were supposed to sound like they were coming from a file on me. That he might have in front of him and was reading out of. At the risk of setting off Larry, he asked me “do people ever accuse you of being robotic?” and yes, they do. He asked something like how I felt talking to him, or something that led to him saying “if I start asking you questions about things that matter, are you going to look for the quickest way out?” This is also from my blog, it’s referencing a really amazing immersive piece I saw in Edinburgh in which I ended up being interrogated VERY unexpectedly and it fucked with me. A couple of things that stood out that might be relevant to things – two shows that I saw in Edinburgh were called “Lies” and “Lie with Me.” “Lies” wasn’t really about lies, it was about the global financial system & crash. “Lie with Me” was basically about the performer’s journey to polyamory, and it pissed me off because he sort of endorsed lying inadvertently (I hope) to one’s partner in order to achieve “compersion,” which…no. He asked me how I felt about lies, or people who lie. I actually didn’t have an answer for that. I don’t really think about it that much I guess, whether people are being truthful or lying. I assume people are telling me the truth and usually when I find out they’re lying my reaction is more confusion than anything else. At the end of the call, he said “one final question – about that show you saw, “Lies,” you mentioned that at one point in the show you were able to understand, you said for one shining moment you understood, and you couldn’t explain it to someone now if you tried but you understood then – this has been lovely Megan. Good night.” So was this a reaction to me insisting the Desiderata thing wasn’t about me, or my lack of belief that they would go to any lengths at all to obtain info on me? Or is this building to getting more information on me that’s actually going to shake me in the “how did you get that” sense? Because nothing mentioned isn’t easily obtained, I wrote all of that myself. (Oh he also did ask, again, about sleep – what is it with this guy and sleep? He asked if I never slept because I was manic, I think. I said that I was severely depressed but not diagnosed as manic. He listed off symptoms and said “sounds manic to me,” or something like that. Guys, I am not manic, I’ve been treated for my shit for 15 years, someone would have said something by now. Anyway I did say that blah blah if I’m going to sleep regularly it has to be disciplined and routine and with intent and that just doesn’t happen, and I mentioned having gone through multiple sleep studies, and he said “I know.”) So, just imagine me sitting there trying to tell myself all the ways he is either bullshitting or how he obtained whatever he’s saying because otherwise I’m starting to feel just a little bit…scrutinized. This was [http://thelustexperience.wikia.com/wiki/Mason_Silver Mason]'s 4th call to Megan. Mason's Call to Mike F.=